


The Answer For All Our Questions

by ItalicElf



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), M/M, post-avengers age of ultron, relationship, sorry pepper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 22:48:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3827842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItalicElf/pseuds/ItalicElf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Tony Stark and Vision has questions only the other can answer. But will they find them together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Answer For All Our Questions

The Vision looked out at another dawn at the Avengers compound. Different from the one yesterday, as every sunrise will be in the future. He tried to focus on each stroke of unique colour in the sky, but his mind was preoccupied. Sentience is a troublesome thing for some beings. Once there, you always wonder where it came from and more precisely - _when_ it came. Humans are rarely troubled about that particular aspect of sentience, childhood is a charmingly slow process which introduces them to the concept without too much fuss. Gently, it shows them how to love and in it’s own self-evident way, how to feel and think, how to grasp and wonder.  
  
The _why_ of it all is a central part of their wonderfully neurotic nature, but _when_ does not seem to be an issue. They possess an unshakable certainty, despite continuing evidence pointing to the contrary, that tells them they are the centre of the universe and troubling over something like a timeline is irrelevant. Like a blip on a radar, they are picked up by life whenever they become big enough and are carried in a wash of noisy actions that echo madly onwards, until one day their mass begins to shrink and resistance diminishes and simply, cease to be.  
  
Sentience is a particularly troublesome thing for the Vision. Pinpointing when he was, or when he became a _he_ , feels like tracking the crystallization of a water droplet into a snowflake. How many different delicate spindles of coding did it take to give him awareness? Stretching out into a vague space between zettabytes and infinity, when did they develop from fragile rhythms to intricate thought processes? When he did become “more than”?  
  
One constant remains, fixed as a start point like a physical lighthouse, shining through the haze of memories, a resonating beacon of certainty that he was there, if anywhere, at that moment. The moment he first heard Tony Stark’s voice. Glib, before he could process humour, dazzlingly intelligent before he could even appreciate daring. Inquiring, probing, constantly asking through the darkness, demanding a spark in return during times of duress and moments on the precipice enlightenment.  
  
It was as if his potential for true existence were contained in those smooth,smug, loudly brilliant tones. A kernel responsible for some iteration of the being he is today certainly owes itself to that voice - always questioning, sometimes demanding, ever lonely.  
  
It had been a buzz at the back of Vision’s mind during the events that followed his creation. Even as he locked himself in a maddening scourge of Ultron’s mind, he wondered. Part of Ultron recognized the question, mirrored in his own maniacal way, a quest for certainty through certain madness. Ultron was created in the absence of Tony Stark, despite being the framework for his very being, a cruel removal mocking the sudden, frightening dependency sentience brings.  
  
Whenever he became himself, somewhere after a shattered, devoted husk on the cusp of a 0 but tantalizing before his stolen body became his, Vision knew Tony was there. More than a father could ever mean to a child or a God to single cell, Tony was an irreverent protection against oblivion.  
  
After the dust settled on his first mission and his first few days of life, Vision began to wonder. He began to obsess, turning over the same few phrases, hauntingly inaccurate in a mind that never forgot anything. His first moments were preciously flawed, a mess so close to human he took a secret pride in them. Despite yearning for specifics, he would always savour their heady confusion.  
  
Once you exist, you begin to realize what nothingness is. What humans call Death isn’t an unknown fear, it is a known essence and its looming presence at the edge of reality dominates every thought. Or would, if a source wasn’t always calling your attention away, distracting you from a fear molded by an appreciation of what it means to be.  
The Vision was on the brink of coining what such a summation represented, but for the moment he was lost in reminiscing. The same voice he was thinking of, called out to him now.  
  
“Jarv-Vision. Sorry, old AI just rolls of the tongue. You ever considered talking to a marketing expert about re-branding? Always a nightmare.”  
  
Vision smiled as he swiveled to the source, his new muscles beginning to flex instinctively as he learned what felt good to hear.  
“Mr.Stark. A pleasure, no matter the name you give me. I often wonder if the Vision is the right name. If a name will ever feel correct, it seems a distinctly human convention.”  
  
Tony shifted for a second, looking momentarily discomforted. Vision realized he mustn't be blinking. _Humans find that unnerving_ , he noted.  
  
“Well, straight to the hard hitting issues, I’ll give you that.” Tony quipped after a slight roll of the shoulders. “I was just checking to see if you had gone all Ultron on this testing facility.” He gestured at the cathedral of glass and tech that surrounded them.  
  
Twitching an eyebrow just an inch, Vision replied “I believe I would be rather busy enslaving the human race if that were the case, instead of gazing out a window”.  
  
Tony’s lip jerked upwards, _a smile_ registered Vision, with a confused flare of pride, _we share the same sense of humour_.  
  
“If we need some PR spin, an android preoccupied with the delicate petals of nature is sure to win us a spike in approval ratings from bewitched tweens” Tony remarked.  
  
“Indeed. It seems like you need some help in that department Mr.Stark, I have been monitoring mentions of you on social media and -”  
  
Tony cut him off with a playful but firm wave. “C’mon, let old habits die easy eh pal? You give up counting the death threats and I’ll stay off the booze.” He motioned for him to sit in the nearby lounge, tucked underneath a bridge of whirring computers and machines that Vision was beginning to call home.  
  
As Vision glided beside him, Tony looked up and laughed. “Gotta say, first time I’ve seen anyone fly in style, besides me. Thor’s Nordic helicopter act is a bit disjointed.”  
  
The Vision touched down gently as they reached mass of couches, chairs and rugs. He had yet to decide what was comfortable to sit in, if sitting was comfortable at all.  
  
Tony sat and looked at Vision directly. “Listen buddy, things with me and Pepper have been pretty bad. Banner is playing Blind Man’s Bluff with the world and his highly trained assassin crush. With you here, or Jarvis gone, or however you wanna say it, it’s been..an adjustment.”  
  
Vision simply nodded, blinking in rhythm with Tony as he tracked the movements of his large, brown eyes.  
  
“I guess I just needed a buddy and look, this isn’t exactly the Brady Bunch” - Vision quickly did a scan for The Brady Brunch - _6.7 average rating on IMDB, first ran in the 1970s during Stark’s childhood_ \- “so I hope you don’t mind me calling.”  
  
Vision nodded slowly and replied thoughtfully, “You should call more often Mr.Stark, this - adjustment - has been difficult for me also. I may not be Jarvis anymore but that does not mean he is not part of me. It too, would be good to talk to -”, _you_ he thought but said “someone” instead.  
  
A quick flash of relief played across Tony’s tight features and he let out as small sigh. Shifting in his seat slightly Tony leaned forward and continued,  
“I mean, you probably remember what went on between me and Pepper before this Ultron mess. I guess I became pretty neurotic” Vision raised his brows.  
“- even more neurotic. You know, your commentary in the middle of this confession is noted and I’m lodging a formal complaint to the American Psychiatric Association. I guess, I guess she just got sick of trying to look after me. If she could have put me on a giant naughty table she would have, but I tend to blow up every naughty table, or building, or city I’m near so..”  
  
This strange, stitched together sentence of honesty and sarcasm seemed to be the closest thing to earnest expression Vision had seen in Tony. His humour was the one suit of armour he always kept on, no matter the situation.  
  
Looking at Vision over the top of his heavy brows, he continued. “I guess the ding dong with Bruce sealed the deal. Something about decimating a city trying to tame my “best friend” while expecting her to handle the international storm the company would face. Something about putting the “Tony” in PTSD I dunno ..” He trailed off and looked away, as if he was calculating the next equation for the next project.  
  
Vision sensed he was beyond that. Like a scratched vinyl, he was stuck on the same trapped second of sound, a resounding goodbye echoing around his mind. _But how do I begin? This is not a warzone, I do not have any statistics to give him, any warnings or last minute rejoinders to include._  He was being to understand why human’s cleared their throats, it punctuated silence in a way that suggested intent but hid the sheer panic of not knowing what to say. The Vision cleared his throat.  
  
Tony half laughed and slapped Vision’s thigh. “C’mon, just because you’re some sci-fi, psychedelic combination of a genius and a trippy gem wielding messiah, doesn’t mean you have to all the answers. I’m just brainstorming here.”  
  
Vision looked down at Tony’s hand. Human contact for the sake of contact was not something he had experienced previously. All his hand-to-hand training had a purpose. A tablet filled with equations passed to an agent here, brief sparring matches aimed at transferring knowledge there. All contact had a meaning, utilitarian to the point of being cold. This contact, with no meaning, or every meaning, Vision could not process this contact.  
Much less contact with Tony. He was flooded with memories of once sharing half a mind with this man, the separation between them now feeling all the more cruel through those warm, slightly calloused five digits.  
  
Frowning, Vision forced himself to look up and directly into Tony Stark’s searching eyes. After a pause, Vision asked “Brainstorming to what end?”  
  
Tony laughed and sat back, removing his warm hand and using it to smooth his hair. He opened his arms out wide and shook his head. “To any end. I dunno. To something. To feel better, or worse. To feel.”  
  
Tony’s earlier jibe about psychiatry had prompted Vision to start a background protocol to scan the internet for academic notations on depression, anxiety and loss. He referred to the gathered information, looking for a method or course he could begin on. Medication was not something he could administer nor was he a subjective party on the matter. He was confused in the way only fresh emotion could make him. In the end, he simply held Tony’s gaze and said “Tony, it’s ok.”.  
  
It worked. Tony’s face lit up for a second, as bright as a star and filled with hope. Coursing with the energy of a thousand, thousand sunbeams trapped in the twinkling golden brown of his eyes. And then, it imploded. His face scrunched into an agony, his smile ripped apart from a pressurized furnace hidden within, a deep well of despair. And whomever Tony Stark was to the Vision, whatever this human had done for him, was bound up in this paper shell now folding into a ball and sliding into Vision’s arms.  
Vision looked down at Tony as he vibrated, shaking with emotion.His hands clinging tightly to Vision’s shoulders, as if he were the last anchor before an abyss.  
  
_I’ve got the whole world in my hands,_ Vision thought belatedly.


End file.
